Being here in heartful gratefulness: Everyday Living

Every moment is a call to respond with compassion and authenticity. Every moment is a chance, a letter dropped by to be opened with care for who knows what is in store and that’s the best and challenging part to be with.
I notice my kid sitting in the living room brushing the dog’s soft hair and her usual sweet anger that she doesn’t like too much of this attention and that she would have better been a cat with another family.

Sufie is the name of this gentle dog, she is full of self-preserving pride, right now recovering from painful mange-a difficult skin condition and yet that tenderness with which she tells the toddler to not bother her too much with touching and rhyming (well we all know how toddlers can be ) melts my heart in its core. I know all her stories as she knows mine too.

While in the garden, the newly sprouted spinach is a moment of celebration, we sit back and juice the fresh aloe vera,watch the new buds of Desert Rose and collect the dried leaves, kitchen waste for composting in a basket.This is an everyday ritual in our house,sit with what has sprung and what is gone in the small balcony garden.
The first meditation I learnt from my mother was -‘The Art of Being with the Garden’ and it has stayed back forever. Everything needs growth, care and cultivation.

The other day on a call with a friend we meditated on our seeds and what it means to be with them, allowing them to be there and enjoy their flowering when it is meant to be.
I count the trees from the window, more than 10 I can easily say, laden with flowers. I breathe to their presence and thank them for being around, always in all the seasons of moods, minds and changes.

Everything moves, the depth grows and shows us how to continuously be with something else in its another challenging form. Nothing stays forever and that is a beauty I cherish and memorize like a mantra but then there are things I deeply miss like going back to my parent’s house and study the bathing house sparrows while finishing my school homework, brewing some Hibiscus tea thankfully gifted by a roadside tree on a journey in the unknown hills, watch my mother settle to disagreements by sitting out and feeling the warmth of grass, silent walks followed by the crows hovering in the air.
Holding what is gone and what is there with a heart open and inviting is a gift that I am grateful to my Mindfulness practice for.

While I write this all,the other dog called Laura finds me typing something and sits close by the chair, her tail now touches my feet and her ears in resting calm slowly settle on my lap. She tells me she needs nothing and makes no noise.I want to now go and make some tea but I give in to Laura and relish this moment too, we depend so much on her warmth and in the spirit of generosity she gives without a thought.

Fifi, our blind pigeon is doing well after the rectal prolapse. She is eating well, cooing to our sounds and I am looking forward to giving her a bath today.

I am so grateful to everyone in my life, on my page for their presence and words. May all beings be peaceful and eased in their struggles!

Things are as they are, a heartful connection of being with turns everything into a moment of presence lived in its all.

A CLOCK IN THE FAR PAST:A PAUSE,A DEDICATION

And when it comes to transparence,

a truer tale could be told in

not so much as two lines

as that harboured in a tome

meant to be flipped

with nonchalant fluency.

 

A Clock in the Far Past by Sarabjeet Garcha opens with the poem ‘Frugal Narrative.The above lines struck me like an invite.The word frugal is an interesting kernel to explore,there is an emotive generosity,a meditative capacity in these poems to pause, to generate insight,feel fruition and leave an inescapable taste in your presence once you have kept the book back on the study or by the bedside or gifted someone else to enjoy.The balance of the book lingers on.

 

The outstanding experience of bringing the reader closer to earthiness to feel ‘a lump of loose brown soil’ or ‘malleable mound’ or ‘jaggery gone viscous’ are real reminders of transition,a journey out of the ‘plastic chaos’ of now to equanimity,to eco-awareness. There is no idealism in the pitch as we take the journey to the poet’s past,it is presented as it is and that’s what keeps the faith in both now and then. ‘A Patch of Sunlight’ confirms how we have could have seen more, read more yet there is no negation of what has been missed for it has only added to the capacity of experience.

 

The missing punctuations mystify the reader. Do we go deeper or do we just stop is the question one wraps into while reading ‘The Believer’, ‘Unlearning the Kabir and ‘Keeper of the Granth’.At times the poems weave a lull, a walk blanketing the rainy forest, the freshness of fecund memories one can just brew as one keep turning the pages.What keeps the text, reader and narrator going in a rhythmic dance is that ambiguity of simplified belongingness. Here nobody is leading the other or refusing the other,it is also an amalgamation of obscuring the boundaries, yet keeping what belongs to you as yours;it is a delightful mix of walking together;often reminds of buskers you meet on a train journey or a religious walk that is incomplete without everyone’s accompaniment of full presence. The poems carry one into their fold without demanding,jostling but slowly lacing one in a way that you are startled how effortlessly your being wears them without a cost.

 

I enjoy this richness that compels you to feel known,tasted,once belonged be it in past or now or speak of some private soiree when you know you can put ‘glow-worms to shame’ or the perpetuity as ‘says the river’ in the poem ‘Passenger”.

 

Every return of mine

will coincide

with the scripting

of a new tale..

 

And one wonders holding the clock in the hand, the fluidity, the passage, the endearing challenging timelessness of the time. In the practice of mindfulness, the attention is all-encompassing,non-judging and kind. The tenderness, beauty and ease with which this collection blends into one’s being calls for its acceptance into the poetry of presence.

Thank you Sarabjeet for this eclectic brew. Breathing, sipping, singing and moving! We are walking into the dance of past without searing it for analytic display but for the healing that it has already brought into the now.

 

Nature Meditation

Nature meditation:walking with compassion,resting under the trees, feeling the grass, filling our mind with the abundance of life,the gift of green,the gift of breathing and above all being with the beauty of impermanence for every moment things change as is their nature and as we open to watch this with curiousity and joy ❤Let’s walk to our green patch,to a tree,to an indoor plant,to a blade of grass,to water,to clouds,to whatever is here right now ❤May we be happy!May we be peaceful and kind!

The taste of watchfulness

While facilitating this session, there was a specific question about the eyes, the alertness.

How much watchful?How stimulated while watchful?How does being watchful taste like?

The audience was so diverse,from the age of 5 to 50.Yes, this happens when I travel to far away in the rural.Nobody is excluded, the community feeling is beautifully embedded in the togetherness that we share in the villages.So, everyone from all age groups wants to be a part and also help others to understand, cultivate more of the practice.

I am very open to this experimentation, it makes me feel like a part of the farming family-where we all play a role, to feel the ground, be open and giving.We remain alert yet relaxed, fun-loving and open to listening everyone’s suggestions.That is exactly what this practice is: sharing the benefits with others, growing it for self and others.It is so much like growing the food for others with others- with happiness,sweat, and wisdom.

And back to the question about eyes and alertness.As I told them that it is perfectly okay to keep your eyes open or closed.Mindfulness is not about postures and coercion,it is your watchfulness in whatever you do, that makes it right.

Being watchful in a placid manner, not on a high alert, over-energized or low and passive.Being watchful like elements in nature, being joyful like plants bathing in the rain, being watchful like sitting in front of the fire while cooking, being watchful in meeting the air that breathes through your skin and wind that makes noise through the surroundings.Being watchful as you take the step on the floor and drink your coffee.Being watchful in words and action.Watchful with a smile, a tear or nothing.Watchful of your intention, smell, and plannings.Being watchful as you are, being watchful without pressure, stress, and laziness.Being watchful as you are, wherever you are!

And we did get it right, for you can never do it wrong:)

A moment of Self-love

And today-just listen to your self: the flutter, the criticism, the bickering, the noise, the stillness.

Whatever it is, pay attention.

Are there multiple thoughts or there is one primary thought underlying the multiple thoughts.

Whatever it is, pay attention to the need underneath the thought and there is always a need for love, offer self-love in whatever way you can.

What is it that you like?

I want a cup of tea, sit and breathe.

Time is not the constraint, five minutes, one minute-a pause is always welcome.

Sit back,watch-the thought, the feeling, the need and move on! May we experience our presence as it is!🌻🌻💟

From the Meditating Dogs

Shakespeare and Morning times

Took this in Goa, long ago.The early morning beauteous vibes and this dear friend-sitting and watching the waves dance their hearts, sitting and holding his self, watching and playing with no losing, drowning and changing.I used to call him Shakespeare(I know, I have a bizarre naming sense).So, Shakespeare and I used to meet every morning for food, love and take notes on how to journal the rest of the day.This is how I used to notice him every day.His sit would anchor my presence, lull me to slow down and watch him gently without disturbing a thing.

Meditation is a state of being present with whatever it is and my dear friend could do this, every morning: sitting and watching, the rising and falling, the coming and going, spacing and welcoming life as it is.

Spending a few minutes with self in kindness and tenderness is the most active and beautiful ways of offering self-compassion.

May we be drenched with self-compassion!May we experience calm and ease!May we smile!May we offer ourselves, a few minutes of silence!May the beauty of self-compassion sink in!May a sense of good, kind wishes reach our heart!May we allow warm-heartedness to our self!May we meet ourselves with empathetic support and compassion!May we be easy and kind to our past and present!May we recognize our suffering with compassion!May we not get lost in the narratives but hold ourselves with all the care that we need!May we be kind!May we offer ourselves what we often give away to everyone else!May we be the source and beauty of what we yearn!

 

Plum Village :Summer Mindfulness Retreat (1)

 

This Summer, I attended Mindfulness Retreat at Plum village in South France.It is the first of its kind zen monastery established by the revered Vietnamese teacher, Thich Nhah Hanh in the West.

I have been reading and listening to Thay for years.He is an inspiration, an emblem in the world of Mindfulness teaching.In the year 1967,Martin Luther King,Jr.nominated Thay for Nobel Peace Prize,referring him as the gentle Buddhist monk,an apostle of peace and non-violence…cruelly separated from his land and people.Interestingly,this nomination was cancelled, for the nominations can’t be openly discussed.I am sure,the weight of Nobel Prizes,is something Thay would have seriously not burdened himself with, for he has remained a monk in action, an activist of peace forever.The real leaders are teachers in action and go beyond their designated times, labels to strive for peace.

Plum village, is one such place that not only calls for peace and diversity but is also a  creative culmination of Zen, traditional Buddhism and the universal, ethical values we can all identify with.It is an all-encompassing, embracing and nurturing abode, where anyone can easily feel belongingness and home.

My room in the dormitory, where I stayed during my retreat was a few minutes walk from the meditation hall of the  Lower Hamlet.Every day, my walk added inexplicable joy to my presence, the beaming Sunflower fields along the road kissed my eyes as I watched them in reverence.

In many of his talks and writings, Thay has mentioned about the Sunflowers at the Plum Village and here they were, a gift to watch everyday-youthful, alive and welcoming.Some stood in their grace, some leaned onto the other, some rows just transcended to one’s heart as the flowers bowed towards the azure skies.

Every flower spoke, every blade gleamed, every movement of these flowers brought the words and philosophy of Thay to my mind that: we don’t know the nature of the seed.We offer it to the earth without expecting it to bloom at our will.We let nature do its role and do ours.We allow the flowers to bloom.

This was my first lesson, first insight-allowing the self to be, to bloom or be under the ground.Everything is welcome.Every moment is fertile.

This was my walking meditation, the Sunflower meditation-watching the melting skies, the clear blue patches of blue, gray, black in the various hues overlooking the green, golden yellow floral orbs.At times, I washed the self in their presence, at times I offered my presence,at times I melted in-between to dance in dawn and dusk.At times, I too stood like a sunflower on my stalk, weighing my presence with no rationalizing and jargon, at times I just became the sunflower inside and noticed nothing with closed eyes outside.

 

The Blue whale in us:A mother-son conversation

I was talking to my kid about the perils of the Blue Whale Game and assuring, how support is always near and we can ask whenever we want,for more than adults children often bottle up with hesitation.I wanted to assure him that his voice is heard and if he has anything about the game, he had heard from his friends, it was utmost important to share with adults.So, I coaxed him to talk and he said yes, I have heard about the game and I know how to be safe but my friends say,there are agents of Blue whale game, they are spread all over the world and if a child doesn’t submit to the task they ask for, they can find you and take you away.
First of all,I was relieved that he had shared. Then, breathing, holding our hearts, I said-No, kiddo.The kids in the school are not right.It is just not possible.Nobody can dare do this to any child.Nobody, yes.I stressed and said- there is law.There are cops, see what happened to Ram Rahim.Nobody is above the law.
He listened to me deeply, wisely and said-What about Salman Khan?He could go free, like that.He could, right?
My moment, oh yes!Thank you for saying it out.
I was speechless and awakened.Gathering my self and breathing into this painful acknowledgment of the harsh, criminal truth, I said but you know-I am here and together, we can take care of all the demons.Let’s breathe and sing our songs.Shall we?I am watching you,you are watching too.We will keep ourselves safe.
And we did sing our song but I know my answer was not enough, my words were not complete but my work was-he could cogitate and wonder at what the world was capable of-not just the inventions, beauty, and marvels but also the extremes of cruelty, violence and injustice.
Our children are watching-the world we have created,the world we have decimated.
Though,we could sing our song for a while but I know that he knows that there is a much deeper poison than the blue whale that has choked us all out of our very essence of being just, humane and conscious or kind.
Every breath meets many heart breaks,every day is a challenge.It is so tough holding the centre,it is so tough to see through this mania,division and justice taken on a ride.And yet, I choose,I do, consciously I do to hold myself in full presence with compassion and calmness, swerving and shaking for we need hearts and hopes, shoulders to lean,for courage to manifest from our deepest sorrows and breakdowns.As I said-I am here,we are here,you are here.
Sending us all equanimity,peace and calm!Breathe on!

 

Clicked at Plum village,France.Calligraphy by Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Holding the Centre, holding the Self : A Prayer for Presence

A few weeks ago, a 16-year-old boy was lynched by a mob in a train in North India.He was coming home to celebrate Eid with his family. While my Pakistani friend and I were sharing our grief at the tragic dousing of more than a hundred people in the oil-tanker episode, another close friend in the UK  battling her personal health issues shared her online request for sponsoring baby clothes for a homeless Romanian woman selling magazines in the streets of Liverpool.

Our lives are so full.In a moment, there are multiple moments of hate, prejudice and charity.There is bleakness and uncertainty over political leaderships, there is flag-waving nationalism on the one side and there are xenophobic rages to wipe out the ‘other’ on the second.

We are in the crisis of choosing, holding and living.Adapting the meaning of life to mental, physical, political seismic currents; holding is the toughest exercise in disaster but utmost for survival.

I am shaken, saddened and petrified on a daily basis.Yet, as a Mindfulness practitioner I draw an image of circle around myself and ask: What does this current time of killing, chaos and bloodshed mean to me.How do I see out of the circle when enough darkness and madness envelops my entire being.How  do I to tend to parts and pieces with trembling hands and not let the house, the planet, the country, the body, the voice, the skin, the friendships, the shakiness fall into the jams of crushing voices, noises, words and newsmongering.

The news media is filled with venom, the social media is replete with fear and abuse.

The times are challenging.I see many of my friends – protesting, posting, reaching Social  Media, joining people in the streets, holding placards and some  sitting confounded at their homes, some working in front of their computer screens- discussing how this is just not the way, asking relevant questions-how can this be averted,echoing-how can we do better at where we are now, feeling this  collective social distrust, fully within themselves and others.

The media is at war, the perceptions are unapologetically unleashed.There are questions and there are interminable tales of anger, anguish and skepticism.Everyone is hurt, the injuries are valid. It appears, no more criminal to serve hatred and vainglorious war of words.Crime is played,used, made a selective tool to  feast on some unquenchable thirst of human grandiosity, a historical crime we should know by now- how it serves none and destroys all.

Gathering ourselves like scattered pages from albums: the one who questions, the one who answers and the one who watches with eyes huddled , our hands crossed in fear, doubt and grief, we experience the depths of our sadness, no matter what opinion we hold and  where we are in the world right now.

The hub of our  presence is -harsh, shaky and glum.We appear deeply terrorized by humans,by each other.Measuring whatever we have, let’s- hold our hands, our hearts and  invite our minds to preserve ourselves and offer our presence as a gift to ourselves, a gift that can be automatically shared by its beauty that has no agenda except compassionate flowering.

To cultivate our presence,to tap into our inner capacities,we can allow ourselves to  be open to a minute of STOP-a calm moment ,a token to  just be with our breath and hold our heart to affirm-I am okay to be with myself in all that I am in,I am okay to be with others if needed to be and be a vehicle of support if necessary to be but foremost I am okay to be with my presence.

We can assure ourselves of our presence.May I hold my peace.May I hold my trust in myself if not in anyone else in the moments of deep internal and external war.May I nourish myself to be fully alive, awakened and healthy to do all that I wish to in these moments of strife.

Here is my Breathing prayer for us all:

Breathing in,I am peaceful.

Breathing out,I am centred.

Breathing in, I recognize my deep pain and anguish.

Breathing out,I offer myself care and support.

Breathing in,I read uncertainty and chaos.

Breathing out,I offer deep compassion to all of us.

Breathing in,I see the world in pain.

Breathing out, I offer to be mindful and giving.

Breathing in-I touch,hear,see and smell my pain.

Breathing out,I tap into my heart and offer moments of joy.

Breathing in,I am fully present for myself.

Breathing out,I am fully present for you.

Breathing in,I am fully present for myself.

Breathing out,I am fully present for you.

–

Fifi,our companion pigeon perched on a tree in Genjpauram village, I have been volunteering and teaching for six years.It was a delight to sit back and watch Fifi explore the branches,the ruggedness,the hopping and yet keep her mind focussed on my voice crying in happiness, guidance and affection.Fifi is blind,she is  an inspiration to feel,see, hear and believe.We may not have the capacity to define darkness but we have the capacities to explore, accept and live in it differently.Thank you, Fifi, for holding us in the murkier times and more so holding yourself through everything to be our support.

 

The Mindfulness of a Vipassana teacher

At the recently concluded 10 Days Vipassana retreat at the Dhamma Paphulla in Bangalore,I had the chance to attend the retreat led by Mrs.Kusum Zaveri and her husband Pravin Zaveri,both travelling teachers from Gujarat.

Vipassana often translated as Insight meditation or Mindfulness meditation is a Pali word,which means gathering attentiveness to the mind,body and sensations.It is more than 2500 years old technique and Gautama Buddha is credited to have discovered and shared it for the benefit of all sentient beings.Over the years and centuries after the demise of Buddha and formation of different schools of Buddhist thought,it was believed that the technique was lost in many variations of style and thought till S.N Goenka,an Indian origin industrialist from Burma learnt this from Sayagyi U Ba Khin and brought the teaching back to India after more than fourteen years of training and learning under the great master U Ba Khin.

The ten days residential course is open to everyone and requires a strict code of conduct to follow the technique and reap its true benefits.

Dhamma Paphulla is a beautiful centre located around 30 kilometres from Bangalore.It is surrounded by lush green trees and is nestled in a small village.The impression is perfect,for one is neither too far from the city and nor too inside the city.The location happily keeps one connected to everywhere and more so to the beginning of an equanimous journey.

The schedule is tight,the timings are challenging,the food is vegetarian,the volunteers are prompt and kind but one person makes a huge difference in everything that one does and that is the teacher.The teacher has to not only offer this learning but also learn along with learning with supreme patience,compassion and wisdom towards everyone present.

Kusum Zaveri,the teacher who supervised this retreat I attended,started teaching Vipassana in 1991 after spending years of training and learning at the various centres.She was introduced into this ancient meditation practice by her husband  Pravin Zaveri and her family teacher Dr. B G Shawla.Till date,she has taught more than 20,000 children alone in the villages of Kutch in Gujarat and also at a centre in Burma  for few years.

Interestingly,unlike many Indian women who have had to struggle with families and tradition to reach their dreams,Kusum passes all the credit to her father -in- law for transforming her from a reserved housewife to a confident,compassionate ,widely travelled teacher.

When I asked her what makes her so unbelievably kind and affectionate towards everyone-from volunteers,workers to students.

“It is all an extended family.Give Metta(loving kindness,a Buddhist practice which stresses on cultivating and sharing love, warmth and good will),you receive Metta”,she said with her loving eyes and handed me four candies to savour the meaning of love in every form,everyone and every way.

From guiding volunteers day and night to being available to students at midnight to be up in the early morning to instruct,discuss and support;the job of a Vipassana teacher is all about giving and not fulfilling conditions of a contract.One can not drive the show if one doesn’t have the grace and courage to do it selflessly.

“It was Goenka Ji who I derive my commitment and inspiration from”,Kusum remarked when I asked her about this arduous labour of love.

“Goenka ji used to say-provide students everything,be determined to help them and surely,they will learn with honesty and truth”,she answered with the  same child-like frolic with which she had answered many laborious questions on the complex workings of the mind and kept everyone regaled during personal meetings.It was never the mystical quotes from books and best sellers or sutras from somewhere but it was her own gallery of life stories from travel, motherhood,marriage and children she enthused her teachings with.

Before I could deeply bow and offer my gratitude to this true teacher in her late sixties,she gave me a warm hug to understand what exactly the compassion of loving and giving is and teaching being the kernel,the seed,the joy which flowers as much as in the hands of the students as it enthralls the teacher who gives it wholeheartedly.

Indeed Dhamma -the teachings of Buddha,belong to all without any bias and judgments.

Everyone is welcome.

May we all be happy!May we all be well!

 

To find more about Vipassana retreats,check :

https://www.dhamma.org/en/index