Wherever I am,I can do Self-Compassion Practice.

It has been a while that I posted and checking my situation right now:I notice bags and packs,we have been on the move,in a new city with my infant daughter,sitting with her clothes everywhere around me,doing her diapers and singing lullabies,watching my companion pigeon Fifi by the window,with plans of how to unpack and where to find what is already unpacked.

Breathing. And,while I am writing this post,my dearest Fifi has decided to do her movement meditation in the food tray,so I have all the pigeon food scattered everywhere on the floor. My heart 😦 as I watch and write,as I long for a cup of tea and would want the baby to take a nap,my heart as I look at the dishes that need to be done and the baby’s complaining longing eyes that I am not playing peek-a boo instead of wanting her to sleep.

We are housed in a service apartment,till we actually have our apartment up and running.Since this is a service apartment and we couldn’t bring all our pets,our dogs are in a hostel somewhere they have never been before. My heart is in multiple routes, my heart is anxious and running like this very bustling Indian city,we are exploring and my husband would want me to title this as the safest,least crowded and greener than any other.

My heart is slow to respond,I search for my energies-I check I am running in depletion but it is amazing that I am running and functional.Integrated?I am not sure,if that is what we usually look at.Am I integrated?Am I feeling whole with my situation?Ah,that’s usually ignored the best for we work on solutions,fixes,patches and not on healings,slow work and regeneration.

I look at myself-what do I need right now?How is the outward rush treating me and how am I holding myself in all this.I sincerely appreciate my response,presence and balance.What else I could do?There is something I haven’t fully paid attention to:something I am more addicted to ignoring than any thing else and I see,it is Self-Compassion Practice.

I offer myself a Self-Compassion Facial Massage:

Breathing in softly,gently,appreciating myself.I notice the tiredness,the noise,the food,the clothes,the baby,I notice everything in this moment.

Bringing my palms closer to my heart,I gently press them on my heart and feel the temperature,the warmth,the tenderness of my presence.

Folding the palms in a Namaste position,I breathe into the palms and feel the breath moving from my nostrils to my palms.(I notice that choosing my nose to focus is more neutral for me than my chest and stomach.This could be different for different people.We can choose wherever we feel more comfortable with a neutral anchor in our body and we can bring our palms to our chest and our stomach too.Just offer ourselves what is comfortable and best within the situation we are in.)

In the next step,I rub the palms softly, feeling the skin,the texture,the pores,the temperature and breath with full awareness into the palms.Breathing in-fully feeling the exhaustion,the dullness and breathing out-appreciating all that I have been doing for myself and everyone in this situation.Massaging my fingers,my palms,softly noticing any tinkle,any sensation in the palms.I keep my awareness open and flexible as I breathe in to the palms.Continue doing this for as long as you like.I did this for 6-7 minutes.

In the last step,bring the palms to your face and massage your eyes.Fully feeling your eyes,your eye brows,your nose,your lips.Fully draw your face and facial features with your fingers.Imagine you are an artist or imagine you have never met this face before.This is the first time you are fully feeling your face with your fingers,your palms.There is nothing right or wrong.Offer as much pressure as you like and continue as long as you would like to.If your mind wanders,thoughts take over,that’s okay.It is alright to recognise this and accept where we are and the amazing efforts we are putting through the toil.

Open your eyes whenever you feel ready to.I really enjoyed this practice, thinking of trying this twice a day 🙂

How did you feel with this gentle breathing massage.I felt my palms were very alive, breathing on my face.I felt energised,eased and filled with appreciation for myself.

The Blue whale in us:A mother-son conversation

I was talking to my kid about the perils of the Blue Whale Game and assuring, how support is always near and we can ask whenever we want,for more than adults children often bottle up with hesitation.I wanted to assure him that his voice is heard and if he has anything about the game, he had heard from his friends, it was utmost important to share with adults.So, I coaxed him to talk and he said yes, I have heard about the game and I know how to be safe but my friends say,there are agents of Blue whale game, they are spread all over the world and if a child doesn’t submit to the task they ask for, they can find you and take you away.
First of all,I was relieved that he had shared. Then, breathing, holding our hearts, I said-No, kiddo.The kids in the school are not right.It is just not possible.Nobody can dare do this to any child.Nobody, yes.I stressed and said- there is law.There are cops, see what happened to Ram Rahim.Nobody is above the law.
He listened to me deeply, wisely and said-What about Salman Khan?He could go free, like that.He could, right?
My moment, oh yes!Thank you for saying it out.
I was speechless and awakened.Gathering my self and breathing into this painful acknowledgment of the harsh, criminal truth, I said but you know-I am here and together, we can take care of all the demons.Let’s breathe and sing our songs.Shall we?I am watching you,you are watching too.We will keep ourselves safe.
And we did sing our song but I know my answer was not enough, my words were not complete but my work was-he could cogitate and wonder at what the world was capable of-not just the inventions, beauty, and marvels but also the extremes of cruelty, violence and injustice.
Our children are watching-the world we have created,the world we have decimated.
Though,we could sing our song for a while but I know that he knows that there is a much deeper poison than the blue whale that has choked us all out of our very essence of being just, humane and conscious or kind.
Every breath meets many heart breaks,every day is a challenge.It is so tough holding the centre,it is so tough to see through this mania,division and justice taken on a ride.And yet, I choose,I do, consciously I do to hold myself in full presence with compassion and calmness, swerving and shaking for we need hearts and hopes, shoulders to lean,for courage to manifest from our deepest sorrows and breakdowns.As I said-I am here,we are here,you are here.
Sending us all equanimity,peace and calm!Breathe on!

 

Clicked at Plum village,France.Calligraphy by Thich Nhat Hanh